gleeb goes to Toronto: 'Visit Britain' posters

The last things I expected to see when arriving In Toronto were "Visit Britain" posters plastered everywhere on the subway. And they didn't even mention the Olympics! I thought that was very strange, given this time of year.

Except for the pictures, you might not even know the posters were for Great Britain, as the word Britain is sooooo small. And nowhere is mentioned, to the naked eye (you would need a magnifying glass to see it from across the subway track), that these are actually ads from United Airlines. I didn't know that until we boarded our United flight, and there, in the on-board magazine, were replicas of this ad.

I think, too, that countryside, culture and heritage are great, in whatever country. But indeed, Britain does have an excess. So come visit!

gleeb goes to Toronto: LHR Terminal 5

First experience of Terminal 5 at Heathrow; judgment: very nice! It was cavernous – more so than Terminal 4 and somewhat like Stanstead. And it was very empty, not like the cramped, claustrophobic, crowded spaces in Terminals 12&3. There were no queues at the check-in or baggage drops, and we made it through security in 5 minutes.

Beware, though: the instructions for security are misleading. In one place it says you have to be AT security 35 minutes before your flight; another place it says you must be THROUGH security 35 minutes before your flight. Obviously, the latter is the one to follow, given that it may take you 15 minutes to get to your gate (by shuttle) and flights close 20 minutes before departure!

The most fun thing about the new terminal is its tray delivery system at security. The trays that go through the scanners on the conveyor roller bars are turned around and sent back on another sent of roller bars underneath. So they arrive at the place for loading up automatically. No hauling the trays back by the staff; no waiting by passengers for more trays to be delivered. And instead of just queueing to remove your stuff, they have two stands for people to get their things loaded into trays, accessible from the roller bars underneath the main conveyor belt. Not bad thinking...

Hospital Radio – ever heard such a thing?

Pardon my ignorance, but I had never heard of hospital radio before. Until last week when I was in for an appointment and picked up a magazine entitled, what else but, "Durham Hospitals Radio (DHR). Apparently the Durham station has been going since the 1960s, and many hospitals in many countries have their own radio stations. I was a week in Addenbrooks Hospital in Cambridge way back, but I don't remember any radio on offer. So how many of you out there have enjoyed hospital radio?

The free issue of "Durham Hospitals Radio"
magazine, available at the hospital!

One of the articles in this magazine claims that hospital radio was initiated in the Walter Reed General Hospital, Washington DC, in 1919. The first hospital radio transmissions were then started in England in 1925 at the York County Hospital, using headphones and loudspeakers. Other countries stated to have hospital radio are Japan and The Netherlands.

In Durham at least, DHR is run entirely by volunteers and is a registered charity. It runs 24-hours a day with hourly programmes, such as Easy Listening, A-Z of Pop, The Breakfast Show, 50's Thru to 70's [sic], The Folk Show, Classical Hour, Musical Box [from musicals], Listeners Choice, 80's 90's and Noughties,* Late Show, Country, and Gospel. I note that "World Music" is absent from this list – maybe a volunteer is needed to showcase other countries' folk and court musics...

* Here in England, the 'Noughties' refers to the decade from 2000 to 2009; this is because the 00 are two 'noughts', i.e. zeros. What do you call this decade?

Update on Chewing Gum: songs, even!

Suddenly within the last couple of weeks, new posters have appeared on the underground tube stations ('subways' to all you out there). They show a woman holding a gymnastic flying pose, and if you bother to read the small print, there is an admonishment not to throw your chewing gum on the street but to "bin it", i.e. throw it in the dustbin. Given the woman's pose, this doesn't have anything to do with the upcoming Olympics, does it??

As I've written before, London pavements ('sidewalks' to you) are spotted, dotted, spectacularly decorated with coin-like splotches of discarded gum. If you've ever noticed at cinemas or when travelling, kiosks in those facilities don't sell gum – presumably because it ends up stuck under seats and elsewhere. (This is the sort of vandalism that caused Singapore to ban chewing gum.)

There is a great song out there called "Chewing Gum", recorded by the Carter family around 1930 as well as the New Lost City Ramblers ca. 1960. The song is about falling in love and getting married; only one verse, in addition to the chorus, mentions gum, though:

Chewing Gum
(Carter Family)

Mama sent me to the spring, she told me not to stay
I fell in love with a pretty little girl, and could not get away

    Chawin' chewing gum, chewing chawin' gum
    Chawin' chewing gum, chewing chawin' gum

First she give me peaches, next she give me pears
Next she give me fifty cents, kissed me on the stairs

Mommy don't 'low me to whistle, poppy don't 'low me to sing
They don't 'low me to marry, I'll marry just the same

I wouldn't have a lawyer, I'll tell you the reason why
Every time he opens his mouth he tells a great big lie

I wouldn't have a doctor, I'll tell you the reason why
He rides all over the country and makes the people die

I wouldn't have a farmer, I'll tell you the reason why
Because he has so plenty to eat, 'specially pumpkin pie

I took my girl to church last night.  How do you reckon she done?
She walked right up in the preacher's face and chewed her chewing gum 

Lyrics courtesy of GED on TraditionalMusic; other listings can be found on LyricsVault or OldieLyrics, and a classic performance by Johnny Cash (and Other) on YouTube.
Uncle Bailey George gives a different rendition on ReverbNation, "Chewing Gum" by Annie on YouTube, "Chewing Chewing Gum" sung by the Super Furry Animals with some pretty vapid lyrics, and of course the old favorite, "Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight" (three renditions on YouTube).

Who woulda thunk it, songs about gum...

Fitflops – shoes Vivienne Westwood would like

Vivienne Westwood said recently (not to me personally, of course, but as reported in the newspaper) that Brits dress too dully. Vivienne would say that, wouldn't she, given her outrageous outfits. But I agree: not enough colour, not enough fun. Like when grey was the new black, and then black was the new black. It's getting better these days, though, as attested when the Marni brand at H&M sold out on March 8th. That night, the Evening Standard's Fashion Editor Karen Dacre wrote that Marni is distinguished by its "conceptualised prints, kooky colour palette, and unconventional approach to silhouette...bold prints, geometric patterns and textured fabrics".

Fitflop trainers in leopard print

Bold. I was emboldened myself by Vivienne's opinion so much that I bought a pair of Bronze Leopard Print trainers (called 'supersneakers') on sale, of course, at a 60% discount – not at H&M but online at Fitflop's website. Not that I was enamoured by the print (they are far enough away from the eyes as to be inconspicious enough), but Fitflops are indeed a dream fit. I first ran into Fitflops in a Stateside shoe store where one pair of tall boots was on display. I liked their looks immediately and tried them on. In seven seconds I had made my decision to buy, helped by the fact that they were also on sale – at a 75% discount!


The tags that came with the boots describe the Fitflop fit: they have special soles that correct posture and exercise the leg at the same time. The selling point for me was that these soles are extra thick and squishy, which means a comfortable cushion to walk on. These were engineered by a team of academics, Dr. David Cook and Darren James, at the Centre for Human Performance, London South Bank University. Their new Microwobbleboard^TM technology increases "the time your muscles are engaged every single time you take a step." They claim that "Fitflop footwear wearers have reported relief from plantar fascitis, heel pain, chronic back pain, sciatica, osteoarthritis...restless leg syndrome, scoliosis, degenerative disc disease and lower leg swelling, as well as improved posture, increased energy, firmness and muscle tone." Whether they'll work for you – well, you'll just have to try them and see. I love mine!

SOAS concert: "Sudanese Roots Meet Global Inspiration"

Sudanese music. I thought it sounded interesting, though I had no idea what it was. So I went to Thursday's free concert at SOAS ready for an ethnographic experience. What I found was extraordinary. Amira Kheir, a former SOAS student, has a fantastic voice, inspired she says by traditional Sudanese singing, such as the song "Shoft Alnur" based on Sufi devotionals. Two pieces also featured a guest dancer, who remains anonymous to me for reasons detailed below.

Amira Kheir in concert at SOAS
8 March 2012

Amira was backed by a unique combination of western and traditional instruments played by some former SOAS co-students and friends – none of whom looked Sudanese at all. The international mix was revealed by their names: double bass played by Shin Ichiro Abe, acoustic guitar by Iain Macleod, traditional flutes and djembe by Mauricio Velasierra, and a whole series of interesting drums and bells by Elizabeth Nott. Amira describes her band as a blend of jazz, soul, African as well as Middle Eastern music – the musics she grew up with. My overarching impression was of lyrical jazz backing soulful Sudanese songs, many written by herself.

Amira revels in this global melting pot, and uses herself as an example: if anyone should have an identity crisis, it should be her, with a Burundi father, Indonesian mother, French grandmother, and Native American input further up. She labels herself Sudanese-Italian and is a confirmed feminist, apparent in her success by doing rather than just talking. She did talk, though, and congratulated all the women in the audience on International Women's Day, instructing us not to be told by any man, family members or cultural rules how to act out our lives.

Amir Kheir's so-called "South American percussion section"

When you go to a concert of unknown music, what do you expect? I would have liked to have had a programme that listed the songs, players and instruments. Without that, I came away happy but ignorant. It is also one thing to listen to songs in a language you can't understand, but doubly frustrating to not even know what language it is. So in the end, I had to buy a CD to get most of this information (not the dancer's name or language, though) – not grudgingly, mind you, but enthusiastically, as I really enjoyed the concert and will again and again.

CD: Amira Kheir, "View from Somewhere". Contro Cultura Music, 2011. Akcent Media Limited.

Hosepipe ban in southern England

Several people in the States have recently asked me about the drought in southern England. This happens periodically, I say, and always there is a hosepipe ban decreed for the summer. A what? No one seems to know what a 'hosepipe' is!

English garden hosepipe and watering can

A hosepipe is your garden hose. A hosepipe ban is a ban on using your hose to water your garden. And remember, 'garden' here in England means your lawn and your flowers, not your vegetable garden – though the ban would apply equally there.

So, does everything die in the dry weather (notice I didn't say 'hot')? No, because you are allowed to water your garden with a watering can. Of course this means that only the important things get watered because the can is much too heavy and it would take too long to water the whole lawn that way. But on the other hand, very very few people have a lawn of any size – usually just a token patch of grass that hardly warrants a lawnmower.

In the north of England we don't have the problem of insufficient rainfall – at least not yet. Furthermore, we have a huge reservoir in the form of Kielder Water in Northumberland. This was built between 1976 and 1982 to supply water to the three northeastern river valleys: Tyne, Tees and Wear (pronounced 'weir'). There is more than enough water there to also supply southern England, but no pipes exist to carry it south.

James Lovelock, creator of the Gaia hypothesis that the Earth is a homeostatic living system, has said that Britain will become 'battleship Britain', as it is one of the only places on Earth where the moderate climate and rainfall will be able to sustain life as the climate warms to desert level –everyone will be beating down our doors to get in. Unless Britain again is clothed with snow due to the closing of the polar door (the what?), this might well be true.

So I think we are sitting pretty at the moment before disaster begins. And if you don't think disaster will happen, you haven't been reading geology.

PS Yep, the Hosepipe Ban is now set to start on April 5th, with eleven other restrictions in place: you can't use a "hose or sprinkler to water plants, wash a car or boat, fill fountains, swimming or paddling pools, or to clean patios, driveways or windows", says the Daily Mail (13mar12), and if you do, you will be served with a Yellow Card letter from the water company to tell you to obey the law.